I am so happy that Jenny has agreed to share her [mom's] delicious cucumber sandwiches. Since I first saw them some two years ago to the tune of Phil Spector's A Christmas Gift for You, I've been baffled-transfixed by them. I could not, for the life of me, figure out how the bread got that shape. At one point Ali, Jenny's girlfriend and one of my dearest, oldest friends, explained to me that a mold gave the bread its shape. But still I did not understand. I imagined shoving a loaf of white bread into a narrow mold.
It wasn't until maybe two months ago that I finally understood the bread was baked inside (!) the mold. This, friends, was quite a realization. I think I need to order a bread mold like now.
Usually, when one learns how to make my mom’s super popular cucumber sandwiches, they make a slightly grossed out face. Suspicious partygoers give my appetizers sideways glances and ignore them for a while. Then, before you know it, someone has a few beers and takes a bite—suddenly the laughing stock of the snack table is the first to go.
I’m not the savviest gal in the kitchen, so easy snacks work well for me. This is about as easy as it gets.
Jenny’s Mom’s Cucumber Sandwiches
Makes 18-22 mini cucumber sandwiches
2 cucumbers, peeled and sliced about a quarter-inch thick
1 packet of Italian dressing mix—the little pouch of powder. My mom and I swear by Good Seasons Italian Salad Dressing and Recipe Mix. Don’t get zesty!
1/2 cup of mayonnaise (stop judging!)
1 (8 ounce) package of cream cheese (non fat is not as delicious, obviously)
Dill—Also, my mom and I swear by McCormick’s “It’s a Dilly” Delish. Salt-free is fine.
2 tubes of Pillsbury Crusty French Loaf
2 bread tubes
The big thing that helps in making these glorious little sandwiches is a Pampered Chef Bread Tube. If you can’t get your hands on a Pampered Chef tube, you can find knockoffs that will do. Just Google “bread tubes.”
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
Grease the bread tube very lightly with cooking spray and take each of your Pillsbury loafs out of their package. Put an entire loaf in each tube and make sure to fasten both ends of the tubes with the handy caps they come with.
Place tubes on a cookie sheet and bake for one hour. Let stand for 30 minutes or so when they finish.
Meanwhile, combine the mayo, cream cheese and Italian seasoning in a bowl. Use a hand mixer until everything is blended nicely, but still a bit thick. Throw it in the fridge for 40 minutes or until your bread is done and cool.
When the bread is cool, cut it into half-inch slices.
Top each baby bread slice with the cream cheese mixture, a cucumber slice and sprinkle with dill.
Eat, enjoy and make sure you have breath mints handy.